Sunday, October 22, 2023

 

5 things to consider when selecting your commercial EPC assessor

For today's landlord or asset manager choosing an energy assessor presents something of a quandary, on one hand it's a legal requirement that is demonstrably improving the non-domestic building stock (something which has nigh-on universal support) but on the other there is a confusing offering from some of the service providers who come out at the top of a Google search, not all of whom are necessarily all they appear to be. We've boiled our insight down to five things to keep an eye on to help you cut through the noise.


An artistic montage illustrating confusionn arounnd EPCs

1. Pound signs: The proliferation of performative pricing


A casual online search for non-domestic EPC providers brings up many bold claims of great value prices - often 'starting' from as little as £89 - £200 for a commercial energy assessment. This unfortunately apes the manner in which the domestic EPC market has raced to the bottom of the bargain bucket, tarnishing its reputation along the way. Whilst one can argue that basing a home assessment by the number of bedrooms is a fairly reasonable pricing framework it becomes absolutely ludicrous to try and apply that to the infinitely more varied commercial stock. Simple maths should tell you that no one is going to take the time and expense of travelling to your premises, assess it, spend hours more processing the gathered data and then pay lodgement fees only to be left with spare change, at best. Ask yourself, if a tradesperson purported to paint any building for £200 would you genuinely believe that to be the final price payable? Of course not - it's bait.


A simple rule of thumb with commercial EPCs is that the more time and effort that gets spent on them, the better the final score will be.

A reputable provider will instead tailor a quote to your specific building and what you're hoping to get out of it, whether you have a small shop and just want the rubber stamp for a lease renewal or if you have a monster industrial site that requires a non-lodged EPC and inter-disciplinary consultancy before remedial works take place. The bottom line can look very different indeed and hypothetically if you were able to secure a large assessment for a meagre sum you have to ask yourself whether you were going to receive that assessors' best efforts.


2. Turf Wars: Unrealistic coverage = substandard subcontracting


Along with fanciful pricing the next large red flag you should watch out for are the companies which proudly offer a 'nationwide' service. We hate to break it to you but there simply is no company in this industry with an army of employees inexplicably in every postcode in the land. Several sites which rank highly on Google fall into this category and whilst their dedication to SEO is commendable it's somewhat misleading. Instead of focusing their time providing high-quality assessments for clients they prefer instead to farm out legitimate enquiries for work to independent local assessors. Invariably this involves beating the independent assessor down on price whilst talking the price up to the client and pocketing the difference, its a parasite sub-industry all of its own.


As a start-up we briefly experimented with taking on this work, accepting a lowball sum to assess a 'GP surgery' which turned out in fact to be more akin to a small hospital - that put a swift end to it.

The point above speaks for itself, why would you want a potentially demoralised and underpaid assessor to be judging one of the vital metrics of your asset? The gig-economy arguably has its place but that should be very far away from these important legal assessments.


The assessor you choose should operate in a defined and realistic area, in our case that's London and perhaps a bit beyond into the home counties. Unfortunately we're not going to trek to Birmingham to assess a William Hill betting shop, nothing about that stacks up nor are we going to call a local assessor and take a cut off of them. Good local assessors know their marketplace best, they know the commercial property agents and often know the buildings in question.


3. Skin in the game: Just who is your assessor?


Thanks to a robust training and accreditation system we can thankfully rule out fraud in the marketplace, only qualified individuals who are subject to regular audits, undertake statutory CPD and are full members of one of the officially recognised bodies can lodge EPCs on the government register. You should look for one of the following on your assessors' branding:-


Elmhurst Stroma ECMK Ltd Quidos Sterling Accreditation CIBSE


Beyond professional qualification it's important to establish how well they operate, look for a wider online presence - LinkedIn is very handy for this.

LinkedIn is a godsend for industries like commercial property, particularly the marketplace as exists in London, there are few degrees of separation and everyone has worked with or knows-someone-who's-worked-with everyone at some point or other. It's par for the course to perform a quick bit of LinkedIn due diligence before entering into any negotiation more often than not this results in "oh they know such and such". It's one of the things that makes working in commercial property in London fun but it also acts as a casual safety mechanism to weed out bad actors.


Conduct the same simple research of your energy assessor as you would with a commercial property agent or contractor working on your property.

All to often EPC assessors fall into the category of the proverbial 'Gary from Billericay' (apologies to any assessors called Gary from Essex's most beautiful town) in that they present no real detectable corporate presence, vaguely recommended by someone and perform their assessment and vanish in a similarly speedy manner. There's not necessarily anything intrinsically wrong with that but wouldn't you prefer someone who's known to you or people you know? Someone that can't afford reputational damage and thus guarantees you the best possible service. For the record - here's me - if you've worked in or around London Property for a while the chances are we have some friends in common.


4. Over-offering: Everything everywhere all of the time


Synonymous with unrealistic-coverage is the red flag of over-offering, not content with providing perhaps both domestic and non-domestic EPCs (an entirely logical speciality for a business) is the phenomenon of the companies that offer every conceivable building assessment.


Like a menu with too many dishes the quality of the whole offering is called into question.

Unless you can see that the company is a multi-disciplinary firm with an appropriately large workforce this again raises the spectre of casual subcontracting writ large. Full disclosure (and before any calls of hypocrisy are made) - we recently expanded our offering to include BREEAM and WELL assessments but these are clear and logical expansions in the arena of energy assessment for commercial buildings, but it would stretch plausibility if we were to try and convince you that we're also great at gas certification or fire regulations.


5. Case Studies: If they've got it, why aren't they flaunting it?


Tying in with the previous points - there is a notable absence in many of the 'do everything everywhere' companies websites of any case studies illustrating their past work on notable buildings. Why on earth is this? We're insanely proud of our portfolio showcasing our best projects and are frantically uploading more examples each week. The absence of such evidence should ring alarm bells for a prospective customer.


When the Royal Philharmonic Orchestra instructed us it was such a massive vote of confidence - we screamed it from the rooftops.

By definition an EPC assessors' work is a matter of public record and despite the fact that not every job can be a glamourous building in a high-brow area - indeed most are not, why do they not mention the eye-catching percentage which are? Again it's a matter of farming out work, they can't take credit when the work was done by a casual subcontractor (our friend Gary) and he similarly doesnt have the online presence to warrant it, or worse still he's done a rushed job, used default metrics and the building hasn't attained a truly representative score.


As the battle for NetZero gathers pace and the importance of EPCs continues to rise there can be no room left in the market for the casual box-ticking EPC assessors of yesteryear.

Summary


This article hasn't been written as an attack on the overwhelming majority of decent EPC assessors out there dilligently working to improve the built environment - its a guide to help you find them. If in doubt follow the checklist:-


  • Who are they?

  • Are they local to your building and can you see a clear online presence?

  • Are they qualified and registered with an accreditation body?

  • Do they investigate your requirement before producing a quote?

  • Can you see similar buildings to yours in their portfolio?

 

Saturday, September 17, 2011

Crikey! The most astonishing designer cushions I have ever seen at CushyWushy.com you really should clap your eyes on them!

Tuesday, January 05, 2010

We've enjoyed the most amazing Silent Disco Party in the UK all thanks to Silent Disco London they really are the best in the business!

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Miracle Fruit

Finally you can buy miracle fruit in the UK Miracle Fruit

Monday, July 12, 2004

Mil Millington

Be-Jaysus good old Mil Millington, Guardian columnist and author of such works as Things My Girlfriend And I Have Argued About is the next to join our slowly growing legion of 'interesting types' and answered The Interview...

TMGAIHAA.com
1) What are your three biggest influences?
Um... not sure I have 'influences' (rather than merely 'things I like') in any meaningful way, but let's say: Spike Milligan, classic US sitcoms (Taxi, Soap, etc.) and Robb Wilton

2) Earliest memory?
I have a terrible memory, both long-term and short-term. I can remember being bored at my grandmother's when, I suppose, I'd have been about four-and-a-half. I don't think I can recall anything before that. And not much since.

3) The funniest pub tale you can recall...
Sorry. I don't drink, so I only go to pubs to play pool (and I'm so fearsomely skillful at it that few people in England will now accept a game against me), and so don't really encounter a lot of pub tales. If you want a joke, I hugely like:
Q: How many film producers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Hmmm... does it have to be *light bulb*?
But that's a personal thing, perhaps.

4) When and where were you happiest?
Honest answer? 'I have utterly no idea.'

5) If you could erase one memory (of your own) what would it be?
None whatsoever. As I say, I don't have that many memories anyway, so it's not like I need to free up space. More importantly, however, I'm revealingly the kind of person who thinks that erasing the memory of an event (rather than the event itself) is essentially empty. It's a bit like:
'There is no afterlife, of course, but if you take this pill you'll *believe* there is, and that might make you feel better.' No thanks.
Reality tends to be a rather cruel and crap, but I prefer it to deluding myself even so.

6) Whats the best bit of Tv you have seen in the last year?
I love it when newsreaders say, 'And here's Bill Solemn with that
report...' but the VT doesn't cut in, and they're just left there:
staring... into... camera. I'm easily pleased, really.

7) Why do you do what you do?
To idly amuse myself. Seriously.

8) What is the single biggest life changing coincidence/incident you can remember?
I genuinely don't feel I've had any life-changing incidents. OK, publishers
turning up and asking me to write novels - so I'm now a writer rather than
an IT manager - is very wonderful and fortunate. But it hasn't made any changes to me, personally (my views, my manner, even my socks), and hardly anything has changed practically (I'm not rich, I haven't moved from where I was living, my VCR timer still follows its own whims, and so on).

9) Any near death experiences?
I've nearly died a few times, of course - who hasn't? Certainly no one who's ever been in a car driven by my girlfriend.

10) Whilst on that subject, what happens when we die?
You fall over. Is this an 'Is there a life after death/God/pink spirit of Love ordering the universe?' question? No. Emphatically: no.

11) Ok, desert Island scenario, what would be your two luxuries?
A guitar and... you're not going to let me have a Net connection, right? OK. A guitar and an endless supply of cigarettes.

12) Most hated media format (besides purile blogs...)
Mobile phone spam is an impressively infuriating development, isn't it?

13) Top hangover cure...
Sorry, don't drink, so I'm the wrong person to ask.

14) Favourite tipple?
Honestly, I don't drink. Tea - I have the odd cup of tea.

15) One wish, what is it?
That life were fair. You know, globally: that people, in all senses, got
what they deserved.

Ben Wheatley

Next up is Ben Wheatley, one half of Mrandmrswheatley, perhaps the busiest mind poisoners on the web at the moment. Their work smacks of stunted genius, if the internet were cinema they would almost certainly be James Bond Baddies (or Ooompahloompahs at the very least)


mrandmrswheatley.co.uk
1) What are your three biggest influences?
Fear – Food – Time (as in it running out)

2) Earliest memory?
Red walls

3) The funniest pub tale you can recall...
I laughed and shat myself, went to the toilet to get rid of my soiled kecks and in the hidey hole that I was going to use I found another pair of discarded kecks.

4) When and where were you happiest?
Here now

5) If you could erase one memory (of your own) what would it be?
I wouldn’t

6) Whats the best bit of Tv you have seen in the last year?
first episode of monkey dust

7) Why do you do what you do?
Because that’s all I can do

8) What is the single biggest life changing coincidence/incident you can remember?
Meeting Amy

9) Any near death experiences?
Passed out at a party in a warehouse in winter, woke up violently shivering with ice on the inside of the windows. Found my mate wrapped in a carpet on the floor.

10) Whilst on that subject, what happens when we die?
Nothing, much the same as when we are alive

11) Ok, desert Island scenario, what would be your two luxuries?
A radio (for bbc) and teh interweb (could tune into radio on web I spose but don’t like listening on the computer)

12) Most hated media format (besides purile blogs...)
I’m fearing digital paper…and it’s not even here yet

13) Top hangover cure...
Solpadine – legal crack

14) Favourite tipple?
Solpadine

15) One wish, what is it?
To have enough cash to get on with my stuff

Chopper

The Interview has been blessed today by a resonse from Chopper, chief of the Cello (along with Bass, Kantele and vocals) for the Oysterband. The folk-rock legends have just finished their 25th anniversary tour and very good they were too, thankfully Choper has caught his breath and found time to pen his reply to our fifteen questions of destiny...

Oysterband.co.uk
1) What are your three biggest influences?
The weather, my bowels and the collected works of William Shakespeare

2) Earliest memory?
Being strapped into a pram.

3) The funniest pub tale you can recall...
A penguin walks into a pub and says to the barman 'have you seen my brother' ? Barman says "Idunno, what does he look like' ?

4) When and where were you happiest?
Last time I woke up

5) If you could erase one memory (of your own) what would it be?
I've already erased the worst ones and thus cannot retrieve them.

6) Whats the best bit of Tv you have seen in the last year?
The final of 'I Want To Marry A Millionaire' When two people who had never met, got married live on TV. Him because he fancied the way she looked and her because she knew he was rich. I thought the period for this sort of arrangement was usually for a somewhat shorter time?

7) Why do you do what you do?
Because I can't think of anything else

8) What is the single biggest life changing coincidence/incident you can remember?
The first gig I went to.

9) Any near death experiences?
Does dying on stage count? In that case the night I found myself trying to harmonize with Ronnie Drew of the Dubliners on The Old Triangle at a festival in Denmark.

10) Whilst on that subject, what happens when we die?
What happens is that we can't find our note.

11) Ok, desert Island scenario, what would be your two luxuries?
A large comfortable sailing boat and a dingy to get to it.

12) Most hated media format (besides purile blogs...)
Definately the telly...Satan's Arsehole, or as they call it in Sweden 'Dumburk' , which means 'Stupid Box'.

13) Top hangover cure...
Having a beer and playing a show.

14) Favourite tipple?
Flowers....a Sussex ale

15) One wish, what is it?
Will you leave me alone now ?

Seb (DeadPlants)

Roll up Roll up, Our second questionaire comes thundering in from Seb, frontman of legendary skiffle band The Deadplants

Deadplants.com
1) What are your three biggest influences?
wine women and song ( a bit corny but there it is..)

2) Earliest memory?
of walking into the kitchen and seeing my mum stirring a big pot of chickenfeed.

3) The funniest pub tale you can recall...
a man walks into a pub with a flamingo and a cat.. and it goes on..

4) When and where were you happiest?
at home, before this questionnnaire arrived

5)If you could erase one memory (of your own) what would it be?
a certain night in france with a bottle of calvados hooch

6)Whats the best bit of Tv you have seen in the last year?
Bo Selecta, tho last night's match between Czech and Holland was a"cracking" game to watch

7)Why do you do what you do?
Because you choose to or not

8)What is the single biggest life changing coincidence/incident you can remember?
losing everything

9)Any near death experiences?
many

10)Whilst on that subject, what happens when we die?
We return to the world

11)Ok, desert Island scenario, what would be your two luxuries?
Sage and onion stuffing and Maddi's pink van

12)Most hated media format (besides purile blogs...)
The Daily Mail

13)Top hangover cure...
An orgasm and some Solpadeine

14)Favourite tipple?
Calvados/ Whisky

15)One wish, what is it?
A bird with long legs and a tight pussy, which is also the punch line to no.3

Brian Mung

Well well ladies and gentlemen, our first reply has been recieved and its from none other than twisted evil web genius Brian Mung!

Brianmung.com

1) What are your three biggest influences?
My mum - your mum - gravity

2) Earliest memory?
Being fascinated by my own black urine

3) The funniest pub tale you can recall...
Three pubs walk into a rabi.

4) When and where were you happiest?
When I thought up the rabi gag

5) If you could erase one memory (of your own) what would it be?
That hideous mpeg of a guy sticking two AA batteries up his urethra.

6) Whats the best bit of Tv you have seen in the last year?
John Leslie crying

7) Why do you do what you do?
Attention

8) What is the single biggest life changing coincidence/incident you can
remember?
Finding out that my father and mother had both swapped gender shortly after
my birth and were in fact my mother and my father. They told me in front of
all my friends at a bowling alley on my sixteenth birthday.

9) Any near death experiences?
4.

10) Whilst on that subject, what happens when we die?
We go to heaven to spend an eternity in the loving bosom of our lord Jesus
Christ who upon the cross, died for all our sins. HAHA.

11) Ok, desert Island scenario, what would be your two luxuries?
Gun & Monkey

12) Most hated media format (besides purile blogs...)
Shouting

13) Top hangover cure...
400 lemons - to be eaten in quick succession

14) Favourite tipple?
Gin out the kettle - also excellent for dealing with those unwanted
pregnancies

15) One wish, what is it?
Massive thumbs that I had to drag around behind me.

Introduction...

Welcome to The Interview, a blog which sets out to ask interesting folk the same set of questions. The answers will be posted as regularly as I can get responses and I hope that we can get some of the more interesting people in our society to give us a glimpse into their lives as an antidote to the celeb based media circus crap we are fed from day to day.

The questions are...
1) What are your three biggest influences?
2) Earliest memory?
3) The funniest pub tale you can recall...
4) When and where were you happiest?
5) If you could erase one memory (of your own) what would it be?
6) Whats the best bit of Tv you have seen in the last year?
7) Why do you do what you do?
8) What is the single biggest life changing coincidence/incident you can remember?
9) Any near death experiences?
10) Whilst on that subject, what happens when we die?
11) Ok, desert Island scenario, what would be your two luxuries?
12) Most hated media format (besides purile blogs...)
13) Top hangover cure...
14) Favourite tipple?
15) One wish, what is it?