Mil Millington
Be-Jaysus good old Mil Millington, Guardian columnist and author of such works as Things My Girlfriend And I Have Argued About is the next to join our slowly growing legion of 'interesting types' and answered The Interview...
TMGAIHAA.com
1) What are your three biggest influences?
Um... not sure I have 'influences' (rather than merely 'things I like') in any meaningful way, but let's say: Spike Milligan, classic US sitcoms (Taxi, Soap, etc.) and Robb Wilton
2) Earliest memory?
I have a terrible memory, both long-term and short-term. I can remember being bored at my grandmother's when, I suppose, I'd have been about four-and-a-half. I don't think I can recall anything before that. And not much since.
3) The funniest pub tale you can recall...
Sorry. I don't drink, so I only go to pubs to play pool (and I'm so fearsomely skillful at it that few people in England will now accept a game against me), and so don't really encounter a lot of pub tales. If you want a joke, I hugely like:
Q: How many film producers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Hmmm... does it have to be *light bulb*?
But that's a personal thing, perhaps.
4) When and where were you happiest?
Honest answer? 'I have utterly no idea.'
5) If you could erase one memory (of your own) what would it be?
None whatsoever. As I say, I don't have that many memories anyway, so it's not like I need to free up space. More importantly, however, I'm revealingly the kind of person who thinks that erasing the memory of an event (rather than the event itself) is essentially empty. It's a bit like:
'There is no afterlife, of course, but if you take this pill you'll *believe* there is, and that might make you feel better.' No thanks.
Reality tends to be a rather cruel and crap, but I prefer it to deluding myself even so.
6) Whats the best bit of Tv you have seen in the last year?
I love it when newsreaders say, 'And here's Bill Solemn with that
report...' but the VT doesn't cut in, and they're just left there:
staring... into... camera. I'm easily pleased, really.
7) Why do you do what you do?
To idly amuse myself. Seriously.
8) What is the single biggest life changing coincidence/incident you can remember?
I genuinely don't feel I've had any life-changing incidents. OK, publishers
turning up and asking me to write novels - so I'm now a writer rather than
an IT manager - is very wonderful and fortunate. But it hasn't made any changes to me, personally (my views, my manner, even my socks), and hardly anything has changed practically (I'm not rich, I haven't moved from where I was living, my VCR timer still follows its own whims, and so on).
9) Any near death experiences?
I've nearly died a few times, of course - who hasn't? Certainly no one who's ever been in a car driven by my girlfriend.
10) Whilst on that subject, what happens when we die?
You fall over. Is this an 'Is there a life after death/God/pink spirit of Love ordering the universe?' question? No. Emphatically: no.
11) Ok, desert Island scenario, what would be your two luxuries?
A guitar and... you're not going to let me have a Net connection, right? OK. A guitar and an endless supply of cigarettes.
12) Most hated media format (besides purile blogs...)
Mobile phone spam is an impressively infuriating development, isn't it?
13) Top hangover cure...
Sorry, don't drink, so I'm the wrong person to ask.
14) Favourite tipple?
Honestly, I don't drink. Tea - I have the odd cup of tea.
15) One wish, what is it?
That life were fair. You know, globally: that people, in all senses, got
what they deserved.
TMGAIHAA.com
1) What are your three biggest influences?
Um... not sure I have 'influences' (rather than merely 'things I like') in any meaningful way, but let's say: Spike Milligan, classic US sitcoms (Taxi, Soap, etc.) and Robb Wilton
2) Earliest memory?
I have a terrible memory, both long-term and short-term. I can remember being bored at my grandmother's when, I suppose, I'd have been about four-and-a-half. I don't think I can recall anything before that. And not much since.
3) The funniest pub tale you can recall...
Sorry. I don't drink, so I only go to pubs to play pool (and I'm so fearsomely skillful at it that few people in England will now accept a game against me), and so don't really encounter a lot of pub tales. If you want a joke, I hugely like:
Q: How many film producers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Hmmm... does it have to be *light bulb*?
But that's a personal thing, perhaps.
4) When and where were you happiest?
Honest answer? 'I have utterly no idea.'
5) If you could erase one memory (of your own) what would it be?
None whatsoever. As I say, I don't have that many memories anyway, so it's not like I need to free up space. More importantly, however, I'm revealingly the kind of person who thinks that erasing the memory of an event (rather than the event itself) is essentially empty. It's a bit like:
'There is no afterlife, of course, but if you take this pill you'll *believe* there is, and that might make you feel better.' No thanks.
Reality tends to be a rather cruel and crap, but I prefer it to deluding myself even so.
6) Whats the best bit of Tv you have seen in the last year?
I love it when newsreaders say, 'And here's Bill Solemn with that
report...' but the VT doesn't cut in, and they're just left there:
staring... into... camera. I'm easily pleased, really.
7) Why do you do what you do?
To idly amuse myself. Seriously.
8) What is the single biggest life changing coincidence/incident you can remember?
I genuinely don't feel I've had any life-changing incidents. OK, publishers
turning up and asking me to write novels - so I'm now a writer rather than
an IT manager - is very wonderful and fortunate. But it hasn't made any changes to me, personally (my views, my manner, even my socks), and hardly anything has changed practically (I'm not rich, I haven't moved from where I was living, my VCR timer still follows its own whims, and so on).
9) Any near death experiences?
I've nearly died a few times, of course - who hasn't? Certainly no one who's ever been in a car driven by my girlfriend.
10) Whilst on that subject, what happens when we die?
You fall over. Is this an 'Is there a life after death/God/pink spirit of Love ordering the universe?' question? No. Emphatically: no.
11) Ok, desert Island scenario, what would be your two luxuries?
A guitar and... you're not going to let me have a Net connection, right? OK. A guitar and an endless supply of cigarettes.
12) Most hated media format (besides purile blogs...)
Mobile phone spam is an impressively infuriating development, isn't it?
13) Top hangover cure...
Sorry, don't drink, so I'm the wrong person to ask.
14) Favourite tipple?
Honestly, I don't drink. Tea - I have the odd cup of tea.
15) One wish, what is it?
That life were fair. You know, globally: that people, in all senses, got
what they deserved.
posted by chas at 11:12 pm
